Dangerous Liaisons

So, it appears there is something even larger than Arnold Schwarzenegger's biceps -- his ego. Only a a complete and total narcissist could do what the "Governator" has done to his family. Yesterday it was revealed that the actor (who knew he was this good?) managed to hide an illegitimate child he fathered with a family housekeeper in his employ for 20 years! The boy, now 14, lives with his mother who continued to work for the family until this past January.

Reports insist that Maria Shriver was not aware of the affair or the child, though she and this staff person would have been pregnant at the same time with the famous couple's youngest offspring. Claims of his philandering have been around long enough that I find it hard to believe she didn't at least suspect he had been unfaithful during their marriage. But cheating is one thing - being so careless and self-centered as to have unprotected sex, resulting in a child with your mistress, belies a fundamental lack of respect toward a spouse.

We preach safe sex to our kids, yet it never ceases to amaze me when these avowed conservatives turn around and do just the opposite when it comes to their own extra curricular activities. It's a classic case of "Do as I say, not as I do" and I believe these men truly lack the ability to think beyond themselves and their own momentary physical needs to be able to consciously or unconsciously inflict the kind of ongoing pain that unprotected sex in the course of an affair can result in.

Scores of high profile and powerful men have gone about fathering children with mistresses since the beginning of recorded time. Schwarzenegger has several comrades in politics that paved the way for his indiscretions -- Thomas Jefferson, Strom Thurmond, Francois Mitterrand and of course, John Edwards, just to name a few.

What I don't understand is how someone who purports to love their wife and kids, can go out and do something (cheating) that so flies in the face of that statement, and then compound the pain by not taking steps to insure that further suffering isn't inflicted in the form of a permanent reminder of the affair (ie: a child or even an STD). Adultery is bad enough, but I can't comprehend the ongoing turmoil that follows wives of men who had kids with other women during their marriages. Of course, you can't blame child, but it's tough to embrace the product of such an unsavory union without having he/she serve as a constant reminder of the event that forever altered a family. With time and therapy, marital indiscretions can sometimes be overcome, but when another woman's child is involved it raises the stakes.

Marriages, even high profile ones, survive affairs all the time. One need look no further than Eliot Spitzer and Bill Clinton to see the truth (at least temporarily) in this. But more often than not, the marriages whither and die when an affair is revealed -- think Michael Jordan, Rudy Giuliani, Donald Trump, John McCain, Tiger Woods, Mark Sanford even Prince Charles. (Honestly, I could have gone on and on with this list of celebrity offenders, but you get my point). Who knows how many famous affairs and illegitimate kids abound that we don't even know about.

I can only imagine the scene when Maria was made privy to this news and the pain that comes with the unrelenting press coverage that is sure to follow. But I give her props for leaving, which I'm sure was no easy feat after being married to the man for 25 years and fathering four of his kids. She may be famous (a Kennedy nonetheless!) and flush with income, but she suffers like any woman would after receiving news of this nature. My heart goes out to her.

It seems Arnold Schwarzenegger has proven once again that he truly is "The Terminator," at least where his marriage is concerned.