The latest W magazine has an interesting photo spread about family and what that means to various celebrities. I was oddly fascinated by one in particular -- former porn star, Jenna Jameson. She says that since she became a mom to twin boys nearly two years ago, she not only chose to give up her profession in the skin flick biz, she has gone so far as to have her breast implants removed and has relocated to the burbs with her family in an effort to "blend in" and focus on being a mom. The woman who sold her sex empire to Playboy for an estimated $30 mil says she won't even pose, scantily clad, for a mainstream magazine nowadays. And she hopes that someday, her sons will know that she gave up the sex industry to focus on motherhood.
Many of my friends look alike in our standard mom uniforms (unwashed hair up in a ponytail, sweats and a large bag that contains diapers, sippies, miniature clothing for various seasons and the occasional raisin or goldfish cracker crumbs). And while I'm sure Ms. Jameson has toned it down now, I just can't imagine that she blends in as much as she thinks she does. But, I do give her credit for trying.
While my high school shenanigans and collegiate mishaps do exist, evidence of them thankfully remains only in old photo albums and in the memories of those who took part in them. Behavior that may seem cool and amusing today but could be downright embarrassing in the future, is now displayed proudly for all to see. Seemingly no thought is given to the fact that this information has a never expiring shelf-life in the age of Facebook, YouTube and various reality TV programs. Are we so desperate for fame (or infamy) that we will literally do anything for a temporary laugh or acknowledgement, regardless of the ramifications. Has privacy fallen so out of favor that we are more concerned with being known for something -- anything -- no matter who sees it -- even our own families?
It never ceases to amaze me when moms (or dads, for that matter), famous or not, choose to divulge past indiscretions, sexual encounters or drunken escapades, in a public forum, purely for entertainment's sake. Are they unaware or ambivalent about the fact that their children may unintentionally become privy to these intimate details of their parent's lives? Perhaps it's a matter of feeling we're past our prime that drives some of us to revisit sordid chapters of our ancient history and put it out there for public consumption. I'm not saying our kids should grow up thinking their parents are saints, but honestly, there are certain things that our kids are better off not knowing because knowing them serves absolutely no purpose and might cause extreme embarrassment and pain.
Perhaps Jenna Jameson should have thought about her chosen profession and the effect it could have on future offspring when she was filming explicit sex acts years ago, but at least she thought of it eventually and decided it was best to put it behind her. No doubt, her kids will someday discover what their mother did for a living and I'm sure they will endure more than their fair share of teasing at school, but Ms. Jameson did take parenting seriously enough to put an end to the behavior unbecoming of a mom.
My by-line is attached to many articles that have found second lives online and continue to pop up now and again. But I can honestly say that I don't feel I've written anything that will come back to haunt me. I'm one of the few Facebook holdouts simply because the privacy issues are too much for me at the moment. Those who know me well, and have for many years, may have some dirt, and I'll admit, there are some juicy stories from my past. But I'm happy for them to be known only by the people who took part in them and not by society at large. I'm just old-fashioned that way, I guess.
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
In my humble opinion...
When I turned 18, I remember rushing to apply for my absentee ballot so I'd be able to vote in the upcoming election that November. Back then, I viewed the political process as a privilege. Sad to say, nowadays, I'm often more concerned with the hierarchy in my own household than that of City Hall. And while I do care about some elections, for others, voting feels more like an obligation than an honor to take part in.
Either way, I always vote. You see, as you might have guessed by now, I usually have an opinion about most things. Election day gives me an excuse to use that personality trait for good. Plus, I'm a firm believer that you have no right to bicker about those running the country if you don't at least voice your opinion about who you think ought to be doing it.
Today, between two different carpools, several volunteer projects and physical therapy exercises, I squeezed in time to vote, even though as of last night, I had no idea who many of the candidates in my district were or what they stood for. I'm not proud of this. I went to college in Washington, DC, interned on Capitol Hill, worked at CNN and used to pride myself on the fact that I knew every detail of most politicians -- certainly those for whom I could cast a vote.
But times have changed and while I still make it a point to read the paper and browse a few major news websites each day, I don't always have time to conduct an depth review of the political news of the day. And frankly, dirty campaigning and annoying recorded phone calls have really turned me off from the whole political process.
So, last night, I went on the website of our local paper here in Atlanta, and painstakingly read bio after bio on all the candidates that pertained to me this election day. I compared their stances, experience and the overarching themes of their campaign so I would be able to make an informed decision today. I can't say my research was riveting or analytically complex, but it works for me.
So, while I realize that we're all busy, and I'd much rather be out doing something fun like shopping for shoes in my limited free time without kids, do yourself and your country a favor and make time to vote today. It's a once-a-year thing and whatever the polls show later on, you can be proud you let your voice be heard. And then, you'll have every right to bitch about the results you don't like, knowing you had nothing to do with them!
But times have changed and while I still make it a point to read the paper and browse a few major news websites each day, I don't always have time to conduct an depth review of the political news of the day. And frankly, dirty campaigning and annoying recorded phone calls have really turned me off from the whole political process.
So, last night, I went on the website of our local paper here in Atlanta, and painstakingly read bio after bio on all the candidates that pertained to me this election day. I compared their stances, experience and the overarching themes of their campaign so I would be able to make an informed decision today. I can't say my research was riveting or analytically complex, but it works for me.
So, while I realize that we're all busy, and I'd much rather be out doing something fun like shopping for shoes in my limited free time without kids, do yourself and your country a favor and make time to vote today. It's a once-a-year thing and whatever the polls show later on, you can be proud you let your voice be heard. And then, you'll have every right to bitch about the results you don't like, knowing you had nothing to do with them!
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Give it to me straight
When I became a mom, I realized how precious stolen moments of time can be. Time for myself, time spent with my husband, time with my kids, time to make meals, time to sleep, etc., etc.
So, anything touted as a time-saver that has the added bonus of making us moms look our best should be greeted like manna from heaven, right? That's what I thought when I first heard about the miraculous Brazilian Blowout a few years ago. I mean, who doesn't look great when their hair is impeccably shiny and straight? And who wouldn't want to achieve that with little or no effort for months at a time? Honestly, two of the things that kept me from running right out to my hairdresser and getting mine done then and there were the price (the same as half the year at my gym!) and the time involved. But my main concern was the potential health risk. I kept recalling the old mantra: things that look too good to be true, probably are.
Lo and behold, now multiple studies set the record straight (get it?) on this miracle cure for curls and frizz. Not too long ago, Allure magazine did an expose' on the procedure that uncovered a secret ingredient used to get the kinks out of hard-to-control hair -- formaldehyde. You may have heard of that chemical before as it is often found in nail polish and (gag) is commonly used as an embalming fluid. If that doesn't gross you out enough, the National Cancer Institute has also listed formaldehyde as a known carcinogen that has been linked to several cancers, including leukemia. Aside from causing diseases that can potentially kill you, formaldehyde can have less serious but still troubling side-effects like nausea, coughing, skin and throat irritation as well as causing watery eyes and a burning sensation in the nose.
But wait a minute, you say....didn't the maker of this Brazilian hair formula remove formaldehyde from their products amidst all the brouhaha when the Allure story first came out? Well, here is where it might help to get your facts straight (sorry, I couldn't resist!)
Apparently, while Brazilian Blowout says they removed the controversial chemical -- even now labeling the product as "formaldehyde-free" -- independent lab tests have confirmed that not only is it still present, it's found in doses significantly higher than what is deemed safe. Just a few weeks ago, a Canadian study found that the Brazilian Blowout contains up to 12 percent formaldehyde and issued a warning to urge consumers to avoid the product. A similar study out of Oregon also found high levels of the toxic substance and subsequently issued health alerts to consumers in that state. Many salons across the country have now discontinued the service as a health risk to employees and customers alike.
Women have long suffered indignities and risked their health in an effort to beautify themselves. Every year we read stories of women who die on the operating table during elective plastic surgery, botched boob jobs, ladies burned during laser hair removal procedures, not to mention the dubious claims made by diet pills and nutritional supplements promising to help us look and feel our absolute best.
For someone who routinely shuns manicures and pedicures because of the gross-out factor of most of today's nail polishes and removers, you can guess where I fall on the debate about the Brazilian Blowout. While I'd love nothing more than to have my tresses soft and silky and looking like Gwyneth Paltrow or Courtney Cox, I'll draw the line at where vanity and potential poison intersect. (and by the way, I am in no way saying that these celebs have used this particular hair process....just admiring their gorgeous manes.)
So, until there is a safe alternative, I'll be sweating it out under my trusty hair dryer, armed with my earth-friendly products and my large curling brush, straightening my locks the old fashioned way. And as a mom who doesn't always have time to wash my hair everyday, that also comes in handy as a natural way of achieving that coveted "flat" look.
So, anything touted as a time-saver that has the added bonus of making us moms look our best should be greeted like manna from heaven, right? That's what I thought when I first heard about the miraculous Brazilian Blowout a few years ago. I mean, who doesn't look great when their hair is impeccably shiny and straight? And who wouldn't want to achieve that with little or no effort for months at a time? Honestly, two of the things that kept me from running right out to my hairdresser and getting mine done then and there were the price (the same as half the year at my gym!) and the time involved. But my main concern was the potential health risk. I kept recalling the old mantra: things that look too good to be true, probably are.
Lo and behold, now multiple studies set the record straight (get it?) on this miracle cure for curls and frizz. Not too long ago, Allure magazine did an expose' on the procedure that uncovered a secret ingredient used to get the kinks out of hard-to-control hair -- formaldehyde. You may have heard of that chemical before as it is often found in nail polish and (gag) is commonly used as an embalming fluid. If that doesn't gross you out enough, the National Cancer Institute has also listed formaldehyde as a known carcinogen that has been linked to several cancers, including leukemia. Aside from causing diseases that can potentially kill you, formaldehyde can have less serious but still troubling side-effects like nausea, coughing, skin and throat irritation as well as causing watery eyes and a burning sensation in the nose.
But wait a minute, you say....didn't the maker of this Brazilian hair formula remove formaldehyde from their products amidst all the brouhaha when the Allure story first came out? Well, here is where it might help to get your facts straight (sorry, I couldn't resist!)
Apparently, while Brazilian Blowout says they removed the controversial chemical -- even now labeling the product as "formaldehyde-free" -- independent lab tests have confirmed that not only is it still present, it's found in doses significantly higher than what is deemed safe. Just a few weeks ago, a Canadian study found that the Brazilian Blowout contains up to 12 percent formaldehyde and issued a warning to urge consumers to avoid the product. A similar study out of Oregon also found high levels of the toxic substance and subsequently issued health alerts to consumers in that state. Many salons across the country have now discontinued the service as a health risk to employees and customers alike.
Women have long suffered indignities and risked their health in an effort to beautify themselves. Every year we read stories of women who die on the operating table during elective plastic surgery, botched boob jobs, ladies burned during laser hair removal procedures, not to mention the dubious claims made by diet pills and nutritional supplements promising to help us look and feel our absolute best.
For someone who routinely shuns manicures and pedicures because of the gross-out factor of most of today's nail polishes and removers, you can guess where I fall on the debate about the Brazilian Blowout. While I'd love nothing more than to have my tresses soft and silky and looking like Gwyneth Paltrow or Courtney Cox, I'll draw the line at where vanity and potential poison intersect. (and by the way, I am in no way saying that these celebs have used this particular hair process....just admiring their gorgeous manes.)
So, until there is a safe alternative, I'll be sweating it out under my trusty hair dryer, armed with my earth-friendly products and my large curling brush, straightening my locks the old fashioned way. And as a mom who doesn't always have time to wash my hair everyday, that also comes in handy as a natural way of achieving that coveted "flat" look.
Friday, September 24, 2010
Just say "yes"
When you think of the Drug Enforcement Administration (DEA), what sort of thoughts come to mind? Crack house busts, organized crime, reruns of "Cops" on cable? Certainly not an effort to clean out your medicine cabinet or help the environment by preventing the abuse or improper disposal of medication?
But that's exactly the goal of a campaign by the DEA this Saturday across the country. In an effort to curb rampant misuse of prescription and expired over-the-counter meds, the DEA is offering 4,000 drop-off sites across the nation where anyone can anonymously get rid of such medications. The program originated as a way to combat crime and increasing deaths linked to prescription drug abuse, but for me, the environmental angle holds just as much sway.
Each year, millions of pills or liquid medicines are flushed down the toilet or washed down the drain, exposing our waterways to traceable levels of these meds. This affects, not only our environment but studies have shown that even tap water in certain municipalities now shows detectable levels of medicines like birth control and anti-depressants. Doesn't exactly make you want to gulp down those recommended eight glasses a day, huh?
So take a moment today or tomorrow to gather up all those old medicines and clear your bathrooms out of discards you won't use anyway and that could easily pose a danger to your kids. Get rid of it the right way. You'll be doing your family, your medicine cabinet and our earth a favor.
For more information on the drop off, go to http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/39328587/ns/health-more_health_news/
To locate a drop off site near you, go to
https://www.deadiversion.usdoj.gov/NTBI/NTBI-PUB.pub;jsessionid=6176CC3BEEE0F599AE74679B3E6D1EEC?_flowExecutionKey=_cCF03CB76-1E64-1852-C6C3-7F609368AF03_k64982B34-0E99-25EB-7C37-7296A1B2A520
But that's exactly the goal of a campaign by the DEA this Saturday across the country. In an effort to curb rampant misuse of prescription and expired over-the-counter meds, the DEA is offering 4,000 drop-off sites across the nation where anyone can anonymously get rid of such medications. The program originated as a way to combat crime and increasing deaths linked to prescription drug abuse, but for me, the environmental angle holds just as much sway.
Each year, millions of pills or liquid medicines are flushed down the toilet or washed down the drain, exposing our waterways to traceable levels of these meds. This affects, not only our environment but studies have shown that even tap water in certain municipalities now shows detectable levels of medicines like birth control and anti-depressants. Doesn't exactly make you want to gulp down those recommended eight glasses a day, huh?
So take a moment today or tomorrow to gather up all those old medicines and clear your bathrooms out of discards you won't use anyway and that could easily pose a danger to your kids. Get rid of it the right way. You'll be doing your family, your medicine cabinet and our earth a favor.
For more information on the drop off, go to http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/39328587/ns/health-more_health_news/
To locate a drop off site near you, go to
https://www.deadiversion.usdoj.gov/NTBI/NTBI-PUB.pub;jsessionid=6176CC3BEEE0F599AE74679B3E6D1EEC?_flowExecutionKey=_cCF03CB76-1E64-1852-C6C3-7F609368AF03_k64982B34-0E99-25EB-7C37-7296A1B2A520
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Ode to Tipper Gore
When I was about seven, growing up in a small, southern town, I signed up for Miss Ramona's dance class. The class was your typical elementary-age ballet/tap/jazz program taught out of an upstairs home studio. Each day, we'd spend about 10 minutes "warming up" to get us in the mood to begin our routine. For some reason, Miss Ramona's song of choice for this warm up was Captain & Tennille's "Do That to Me One More Time." (C'mon, it was the '70s people!)
As a pre-adolescent, I had absolutely no idea what this song was about. But that didn't stop me from singing it non-stop and begging my mother to let me buy the 45 LP (again, the '70s!). She adamantly refused and told me she thought the song was totally inappropriate for a class of seven-year-olds. I was completely perplexed. After all, the song didn't have any bad words that I could recognize. What was so wrong with it?
Now, it's official -- I have surpassed my mother (and Tipper Gore) in terms of my radio outrage as a parent of today's youth.
After hearing Katy Perry's "California Gurls" and getting into the pop vibe of the song, I saw it on sale for $8 at my local bookstore and decided to spring for it. I'd never heard any of her other songs, but I figured they'd all have a similar dance beat that might come in handy during a workout. It wasn't til I went to unwrap it that I noticed the "explicit lyrics" sticker placed on the corner of the CD (and the cotton candy smell emanating from the packaging -- I kid you not.)
Honestly, I really don't think I'm a prude, but I was shocked by some of the words of Miss Perry's music. Thankfully, my kids were not in the car when I first played it, so now I know exactly which songs to skip when they are around, lest I get peppered with questions I have no desire to answer right now.
For those of you who are not familiar with this album, here's a sample of some of the lyrics:
Let's go all the way tonight
No regrets, just love
We can dance, until we die
You and I, will be young forever...
I'm gonna get your heart racing
In my skin tights jeans
Be your teenage dream tonight
Let you put your hands on me
In my skin tight jeans
Be your teenage dream tonight
And another sample from a different track:
There's a stranger in my bed,
There's a pounding in my head
Glitter all over the room
Pink flamingos in the pool
I smell like a minibar
DJ's passed out in the yard
Barbie's on the barbecue
There's a hickey or a bruise
Pictures of last night
Ended up online
I'm screwed
Oh well
It's a black top blur
But I'm pretty sure it ruled...
Last Friday night
We went streaking in the park
Skinny dipping in the dark
Then had a menage a trois
Last Friday night
Yeah I think we broke the law
Always say we're gonna stop
Whoa-oh-oah
This Friday night
Do it all again
This Friday night
Do it all again
And last but certainly not least:
I wanna see your peacock, cock, cock
Your peacock, cock
Your peacock, cock, cock
Your peacock
I wanna see your peacock, cock, cock
Your peacock, cock
Your peacock, cock, cock
Your peacock
Word on the street, you got somethin' to show me,
Magical, colorful, Mr. Mystery,
I'm intrigued, for a peek, heard it's fascinating
Come on baby let me see
What you're hiding underneath
Okay, so I'll stop with the sampling now, but I think you get the idea.
I don't mean to get all Bill O'Reilly on you (God forbid!), but these lyrics make Madonna look a bit tame by comparison. Menage a trois? Peacock? Hard to believe these songs are performed by a girl who is 25 whose first recording was a gospel album! Am I alone over here blushing in my minivan, or is this a bit much coming from someone who didn't even have her driver's license ten years ago?
Amazingly, Katy Perry was raised in a strict Christian household and not even allowed to listen to secular music growing up. Begging the question, does anything we do as parents to set boundaries for our kids really matter in the end? In the age of sexting, Twitter and Facebook where our privacy is basically non-existent, and the over sexualizing of young girls so pervasive, is this the inevitable result?
Let it be known that I don't consider myself a conservative person, and I do genuinely like the dance beats of Katy Perry's performances. And as a journalist and proponent of free speech, I recognize that she has the right to belt out such lyrics, just as I have the right to choose not to listen to them if I so desire.
But still, some of her sentiments are a bit salty for my (admittedly non-) virgin ears. Am I an old fuddy duddy? Somewhere in Florida, my mom is chuckling and thinking that maybe Captain & Tennille really wasn't so bad after all.
As a pre-adolescent, I had absolutely no idea what this song was about. But that didn't stop me from singing it non-stop and begging my mother to let me buy the 45 LP (again, the '70s!). She adamantly refused and told me she thought the song was totally inappropriate for a class of seven-year-olds. I was completely perplexed. After all, the song didn't have any bad words that I could recognize. What was so wrong with it?
Now, it's official -- I have surpassed my mother (and Tipper Gore) in terms of my radio outrage as a parent of today's youth.
After hearing Katy Perry's "California Gurls" and getting into the pop vibe of the song, I saw it on sale for $8 at my local bookstore and decided to spring for it. I'd never heard any of her other songs, but I figured they'd all have a similar dance beat that might come in handy during a workout. It wasn't til I went to unwrap it that I noticed the "explicit lyrics" sticker placed on the corner of the CD (and the cotton candy smell emanating from the packaging -- I kid you not.)
Honestly, I really don't think I'm a prude, but I was shocked by some of the words of Miss Perry's music. Thankfully, my kids were not in the car when I first played it, so now I know exactly which songs to skip when they are around, lest I get peppered with questions I have no desire to answer right now.
For those of you who are not familiar with this album, here's a sample of some of the lyrics:
Let's go all the way tonight
No regrets, just love
We can dance, until we die
You and I, will be young forever...
I'm gonna get your heart racing
In my skin tights jeans
Be your teenage dream tonight
Let you put your hands on me
In my skin tight jeans
Be your teenage dream tonight
And another sample from a different track:
There's a stranger in my bed,
There's a pounding in my head
Glitter all over the room
Pink flamingos in the pool
I smell like a minibar
DJ's passed out in the yard
Barbie's on the barbecue
There's a hickey or a bruise
Pictures of last night
Ended up online
I'm screwed
Oh well
It's a black top blur
But I'm pretty sure it ruled...
Last Friday night
We went streaking in the park
Skinny dipping in the dark
Then had a menage a trois
Last Friday night
Yeah I think we broke the law
Always say we're gonna stop
Whoa-oh-oah
This Friday night
Do it all again
This Friday night
Do it all again
And last but certainly not least:
I wanna see your peacock, cock, cock
Your peacock, cock
Your peacock, cock, cock
Your peacock
I wanna see your peacock, cock, cock
Your peacock, cock
Your peacock, cock, cock
Your peacock
Word on the street, you got somethin' to show me,
Magical, colorful, Mr. Mystery,
I'm intrigued, for a peek, heard it's fascinating
Come on baby let me see
What you're hiding underneath
Okay, so I'll stop with the sampling now, but I think you get the idea.
I don't mean to get all Bill O'Reilly on you (God forbid!), but these lyrics make Madonna look a bit tame by comparison. Menage a trois? Peacock? Hard to believe these songs are performed by a girl who is 25 whose first recording was a gospel album! Am I alone over here blushing in my minivan, or is this a bit much coming from someone who didn't even have her driver's license ten years ago?
Amazingly, Katy Perry was raised in a strict Christian household and not even allowed to listen to secular music growing up. Begging the question, does anything we do as parents to set boundaries for our kids really matter in the end? In the age of sexting, Twitter and Facebook where our privacy is basically non-existent, and the over sexualizing of young girls so pervasive, is this the inevitable result?
Let it be known that I don't consider myself a conservative person, and I do genuinely like the dance beats of Katy Perry's performances. And as a journalist and proponent of free speech, I recognize that she has the right to belt out such lyrics, just as I have the right to choose not to listen to them if I so desire.
But still, some of her sentiments are a bit salty for my (admittedly non-) virgin ears. Am I an old fuddy duddy? Somewhere in Florida, my mom is chuckling and thinking that maybe Captain & Tennille really wasn't so bad after all.
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Driven to Distraction
When I first got my driver's license, I remember being warned by my mother not to do something silly, like put on makeup while I was behind the wheel. My how times have changed! Mascara is no longer the vehicular risk of choice these days. Everything from cell phone conversations, text messages, GPS devices, video players and screaming children conspires to drive us to distraction in the 21st century.
Here in Georgia, a law just went into effect prohibiting text messaging while operating a motor vehicle (even at stoplights!). First offenders receive a $150 fine and a point on their driver's licenses. Thirty states have such laws on the books and eight states ban the use of handheld cellphones while driving.
While I personally think these laws are good things, sadly, we continue to hear about people who are not deterred by a fine, or those who simply think it "won't happen to them." Just a few weeks ago, a well-regarded doctor in California plunged off a cliff to his death while texting. A deadly train crash in 2008 was blamed on texting and last year, a Northwest Airlines flight continue 150 miles beyond its destination, allegedly because the pilots were distracted working on their laptops. While laws can be passed that are designed to prevent this sort of irresponsible behavior, there is no way to truly enforce them other than to catch people in the act, when the damage may already have been done.
But as a parent, it never ceases to shock me when I read stories about moms and dads who were so distracted that they forgot they had a child in the car, often with deadly consequences. Personally, I cannot imagine what could possibly make me forget my kids were in the car (these parents must have awfully quiet kids!). If you are that distracted, you have no business being behind the wheel in the first place. Even if you don't have kids, if you are this distracted, you are lucky if you aren't the cause of an accident. And I don't care how late I am for work, or a meeting, or a big shoe sale at the mall, nothing, I repeat, NOTHING would make me forget one of my kids was traveling with me.
That said, this past month was the deadliest month ever for kids left in cars. Most of these children died of heatstroke as the temperature in a closed vehicle can quickly register much higher than the temperature outside. My heart aches for these children....and for their parents. As irresponsible as their behavior is, I'd say the worst punishment is having to live with the result of their own actions.
Obviously, the issue of how to prevent these distracted parents from even getting behind the wheel with their kids -- or someone else's kids -- in the first place, needs to be seriously addressed. Car makers and the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration are now exploring devices that may help remind forgetful parents that they have a child in the backseat. Some suggestions include chimes that would sound if seat belts are left fastened in a parked car, sensors that would detect extra weight in a car, or an alarm system that activates when a car exceeds a certain interior temperature.
I was surprised to read that 10 years ago, NASA engineers developed technology that can alert drivers if they've left a child in their car. To date, this technology has been reviewed by automakers, but none have chosen to use it. Sadly, it was developed in response to a NASA co-worker's experience when their child died after being left in the car.
So, it doesn't take a rocket scientist (or maybe in this case, it does?) to realize that if it can happen to an employee of NASA, it can happen to anyone. But all the bells and whistles in the world won't replace a parent who is more focused on anything other than the task of driving their children safely. As important as all this other stuff is to us (our jobs, our phone conversations, etc.), all of it pales in comparison to the most fundamental role we have as parents - keeping our kids safe.
Let's all try to remember that.
Here in Georgia, a law just went into effect prohibiting text messaging while operating a motor vehicle (even at stoplights!). First offenders receive a $150 fine and a point on their driver's licenses. Thirty states have such laws on the books and eight states ban the use of handheld cellphones while driving.
While I personally think these laws are good things, sadly, we continue to hear about people who are not deterred by a fine, or those who simply think it "won't happen to them." Just a few weeks ago, a well-regarded doctor in California plunged off a cliff to his death while texting. A deadly train crash in 2008 was blamed on texting and last year, a Northwest Airlines flight continue 150 miles beyond its destination, allegedly because the pilots were distracted working on their laptops. While laws can be passed that are designed to prevent this sort of irresponsible behavior, there is no way to truly enforce them other than to catch people in the act, when the damage may already have been done.
But as a parent, it never ceases to shock me when I read stories about moms and dads who were so distracted that they forgot they had a child in the car, often with deadly consequences. Personally, I cannot imagine what could possibly make me forget my kids were in the car (these parents must have awfully quiet kids!). If you are that distracted, you have no business being behind the wheel in the first place. Even if you don't have kids, if you are this distracted, you are lucky if you aren't the cause of an accident. And I don't care how late I am for work, or a meeting, or a big shoe sale at the mall, nothing, I repeat, NOTHING would make me forget one of my kids was traveling with me.
That said, this past month was the deadliest month ever for kids left in cars. Most of these children died of heatstroke as the temperature in a closed vehicle can quickly register much higher than the temperature outside. My heart aches for these children....and for their parents. As irresponsible as their behavior is, I'd say the worst punishment is having to live with the result of their own actions.
Obviously, the issue of how to prevent these distracted parents from even getting behind the wheel with their kids -- or someone else's kids -- in the first place, needs to be seriously addressed. Car makers and the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration are now exploring devices that may help remind forgetful parents that they have a child in the backseat. Some suggestions include chimes that would sound if seat belts are left fastened in a parked car, sensors that would detect extra weight in a car, or an alarm system that activates when a car exceeds a certain interior temperature.
I was surprised to read that 10 years ago, NASA engineers developed technology that can alert drivers if they've left a child in their car. To date, this technology has been reviewed by automakers, but none have chosen to use it. Sadly, it was developed in response to a NASA co-worker's experience when their child died after being left in the car.
So, it doesn't take a rocket scientist (or maybe in this case, it does?) to realize that if it can happen to an employee of NASA, it can happen to anyone. But all the bells and whistles in the world won't replace a parent who is more focused on anything other than the task of driving their children safely. As important as all this other stuff is to us (our jobs, our phone conversations, etc.), all of it pales in comparison to the most fundamental role we have as parents - keeping our kids safe.
Let's all try to remember that.
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
What would you do?
Rather than writing a lengthy diatribe on a specific incident today, I thought I'd outline the topic on my mind and pose a question. Then, as comedian Mike Meyers would say on Coffee Talk with Linda Richman - you can "talk amongst yourselves."
The latest airline controversy does not involve minors taking to the friendly skies alone, or disgruntled flight attendants flamboyantly quitting their jobs. This issue is a bit more complicated and really has less to do with the fact that it occurred in mid-air and more to do with the fact that it occurred in public.
On Monday, a flight attendant witnessed a mother hitting her one-year-old baby in the face while on a flight from Dallas to Seattle. She says she also saw the mother slap the child's legs and tell her to "shut up." After witnessing these actions, the flight attendant took the child away from the mother and walked with her to the back of the plane to soothe her. The father then came to retrieve the child and held her inflight until she fell asleep. The parents had previously argued about the mother's reaction and the father later told police that his wife would sometimes "pop" the child during a tantrum but he'd never seen her slap her face (though the child did have a black eye that the mother says came from a dog bite?)
So, the question is....did the flight attendant overstep her bounds or was she a good Samaritan stepping in to rescue an innocent victim? If you witnessed something similar in public, what would you do? Might you also intervene? Ignore the behavior in disgust? Contact the authorities? As a mother, how would you accept parenting criticism from a total stranger? When is it ok to step in and take action in such situations and when is it expected that we should "mind our own business"?
Now, talk amongst yourselves.....
The latest airline controversy does not involve minors taking to the friendly skies alone, or disgruntled flight attendants flamboyantly quitting their jobs. This issue is a bit more complicated and really has less to do with the fact that it occurred in mid-air and more to do with the fact that it occurred in public.
On Monday, a flight attendant witnessed a mother hitting her one-year-old baby in the face while on a flight from Dallas to Seattle. She says she also saw the mother slap the child's legs and tell her to "shut up." After witnessing these actions, the flight attendant took the child away from the mother and walked with her to the back of the plane to soothe her. The father then came to retrieve the child and held her inflight until she fell asleep. The parents had previously argued about the mother's reaction and the father later told police that his wife would sometimes "pop" the child during a tantrum but he'd never seen her slap her face (though the child did have a black eye that the mother says came from a dog bite?)
So, the question is....did the flight attendant overstep her bounds or was she a good Samaritan stepping in to rescue an innocent victim? If you witnessed something similar in public, what would you do? Might you also intervene? Ignore the behavior in disgust? Contact the authorities? As a mother, how would you accept parenting criticism from a total stranger? When is it ok to step in and take action in such situations and when is it expected that we should "mind our own business"?
Now, talk amongst yourselves.....
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